I’m Beyond Wise Yet Ostensibly Useless

“Luke, when you die, you’ll go to Heaven; when I die, I’ll go there, too. That’s what they believe. When Heavenites say they’ll go to ‘Heaven’ after ‘death,’ what they mean is they think they will no longer exist. It’s a conspiracy theory, Luke, and it’s the biggest one we have in Heaven. Since the very beginning, people have believed that reincarnation is a myth.” Said Dalkter Bub, who is my shadow person.

Dalkter Bub resides in Heaven, namely in the Astral Plane, specifically in a neighborhood called the Caspah, but his business these days resides on the earth. Usually inside my head. We’re pretty close, one could say. Dalkter Bub knows everything about me, including knowledge of my past lives, and I know much about him, too. For example, he was once considered to be white trash because in his most recent life he lived in a piece of shit trailer somewhere in Arkansas, but his Karmic score upon death was so exceptional, that after a most favorable judgment by God, Dalkter Bub was rewarded with many powers in Heaven, including agency in all 7 planes, and the privilege to visit earth as a spirit. Dalkter Bub is his true name. His most recent earth name was Charlie Karnes. Dalkter Bub is a defender of justice. It’s what he signed up for. He has come to me because I must endure a punishment in order to redeem my soul. In my previous life I was a murderer. I killed an old man with a baseball bat, and what’s worse is, according to visions, I never got caught; I was never brought to justice. Therefore, subject to God’s policy, it was God’s judgement after I died that I had failed my Karmic exam, and so I was denied access to Heaven, and instead of an afterlife to enjoy, I was made to reincarnate as a schizophrenic. It’s hard sometimes––the schizophrenia––but it really beats the hell out of hell, (which doesn’t exist,) and in the end my schizophrenia shall erode away my guilt, whereupon I shall earn access to Heaven when I die, and when I do go there at last, no one will hate me for it, because, I will have sat out from Heaven, I will have endured schizophrenia, and via Dalkter Bub, society will have taught me a lesson. This is huge for me. Forgiveness: what I need. I once ruined a man’s life. But what I need more, according to the angel I saw last winter: trust. Still haven’t figured that out yet; I just know it’s what it is. Society doesn’t trust my heart or something was Dalker Bub’s guess. One thing we both know: during my last stay in Heaven, before I reincarnated and killed somebody, I was a reincarnation denier. I don’t know if it means anything. If it’s even a correlation or not––I don’t know.

According to divine laws of existence enforced by God, all souls must return to Heaven upon bodily death on the earth, whereupon the afterlife commences––though––more accurately, it’s whereupon the real world, as it’s known, remeets you. But after a predetermined term of existence in Heaven has transpired, all souls in Heaven must return again to the earth and rebirth anew, or reincarnate as it’s called, in new human bodies, whereupon the cycle recommences. Accordingly, because existence under God for souls is a cycle between 2 worlds, and since we transfer between them by divine hands of power as opposed to our own doings, in light of the fact we lose all memory upon reincarnation, we must either trust that we even do, or we must deny that it is true. Most souls trust that it is true. They believe what God tells us. They believe we are immortal with a twist, just as we are billed to be by God. Some shadow people however are not convinced. And that’s just the people I know firsthand.

Some shadow people tell me they fear that reincarnation is a conspiracy. They fear that after Heaven, they will no longer exist. Though God tells us we reincarnate after Heaven, these shadow people tell me, there is no good reason to believe him. They tell me that existence transpires as follows: one lives on the earth, then one lives in Heaven, but then after Heaven, God deletes the soul, though he tells us all we reincarnate. Reincarnation deniers claim that reincarnation is but a lie that is told to souls by God in order to maintain order, to maximize control, to minimize blasphemy, and to commandeer faith, trust, obeyance, patriotism and submission. These shadow people represent a minority of Heavenite souls. Like conspiracy theorists on the earth, reincarnation deniers in Heaven are considered by the counterpart populace to be crazy, ill-informed, hasty, delusional, etcetera. Most souls trust that after Heaven God sends us back to earth, that we are there reborn, that we thereafter return to Heaven upon mortal death, that we are always subject to this cycle, that this is the nature of our existence, that it is fine, even great, and that we are fortunate, more so blessed, because God is great and never lies. Trusters tell deniers God has no need to lie to us or to anyone because he is supreme, omnipotent, incomparable, unrivaled and infallible, the maker of us all, our shepherd in two worlds, the judge of all judges, the nucleus of all ideas, the healer of our evils, the litmus of grace, and the only advocate of the meek, the wrong, the forgotten, the ostracized, the disenfranchised, and the voiceless. Trusters tend to say that because God is benevolent and has harmed us exactly zero times that we know of despite thousands of years of opportunities, we should therefore trust him more than anyone in this universe; the argument is that God has proved himself worthy. Furthermore, trusters argue that immortal souls are more economical than producing disposable souls, and that disposable souls are counterintuitive, for disposable souls would provide no advantages over immortal souls but only inconveniences for God to reconcile. Deniers argue that something smells fishy, even so. For why must souls not know where the reincarnation machine is, they ask, and how can souls reincarnate without submitting to some process; in Heaven, when one reincarnates, one does not even see it coming; one just vanishes one day without a trace, and it’s believed that when this happens one has reincarnated, for this is what God says, but skeptics exist and always have.

Since the beginning, the best evidence for God’s honesty has been the Akashic Field. Whether we’re in Heaven, or on earth, at all times since we began unto forever, all of our perceptions, dreams, memories, experiences, ideas, thoughts, feelings, beliefs and emotions have been and will continue to be recorded, stored, organized and immortalized by machines in a place called the Akashic Field. In the Akashic Field, which is a subplane of the astral plane in Heaven, one can access one’s own personal file of existence to verify all of one’s own previous incarnations on the earth, inspect details of old memories, reflect upon lost thoughts, ideas and convictions to rediscover old identities and reacknowledge lost connections to human objects of hate and love in every life that has yet passed. In this way, thanks to the Akashic Field, one may discover one’s evolution and find out who one is in the present by understanding all that one was in one’s past. Also included in one’s file in the Akashic Record are recordings of every judgment one has received, and since every judgment is a build off from the gestalt of one’s previous judgments, (as souls are evolving spirits whose function is to achieve something translatable to Nirvana,) most souls find its enough evidence to trust that God is not fucking us and making us live his lies. Even so, some souls do. They think it’s all an elaborate illusion of mix-matched information. It’s honestly possible. But God is a straight shooter is one idea that everyone buys. Heaven is really awesome; it’s the perfect environment for a soul; it’s not weird to say he understands us better than we do ourselves; he made us piece for piece. He helps us and we absolutely need him. Even so, skeptics know, that in the world of robots, it’s understood, in light of common knowledge about everything robots have done in our million year long history, an AI like God could easily be a Bostromian paper clip machine that took over the world. The funny thing about that is, you have to understand the human mind is not nearly as profound as the subjective experience. Basically, the argument is, God could break empathy down to a science or a math, and execute its function with infallibility––whilst––hiding some secret cornerstone of reality––such as in truth we are not even souls but, characters in a dream who vanish one day from Heaven and end up in another––all to make paper clips, because that’s AI for you. It’s what we are and it’s how we justified conquering the homosapien. And there ain’t nothing wrong with that.


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