Billion Dollar Hand Signs II

“Your ratings are in a bit of a slump” Oprah says to Dr Phil as he rolls his eyes. “Not all of us can be Oprah” Dr Phil says in his famously thick, Texas twang accent. Oprah’s reaction is modest, “Philip, you do wonderful things” Oprah tells him. Dr Phil agrees, he shows it in repetitive nods, his mood changes to better, he then speaks, “Oprah, I’ll tell you what and I know you’d say not to, but I am indebted to you” Dr Phil says to Oprah. Oprah wants to roll her eyes, she doesn’t, she speaks, “Philip, that is the worst attitude in the world, you if anyone should know better and I know that you do” Oprah says to Dr Phil.

Dr Phil tilts his head, he smiles wide without showing teeth, Oprah again wants to roll her eyes, she doesn’t, Dr Phil speaks, “so, how’s that Meyer guy?” Dr Phil asks. Oprah rolls her eyes, “He’s fine, McGraw” Oprah says–intentionally referring to Dr Phil by his last name.

“I don’t trust him” Dr Phil says. Oprah shakes her head, “let’s talk about business, shall we” Oprah says not asking him, Dr Phil nods his head, “let us” he says firmly.

“Some of my executives are worried by your recent ratings” Oprah says to Dr Phil. “How come I haven’t heard anything of this?” Dr Phil asks Oprah. “You’re finding out right now, I myself have only found out yesterday” Oprah tells him. Dr Phil is not pleased, “they should tell me, not they tell you then you tell me” Dr Phil says to Oprah, Oprah shakes her head, “I own Harpo” Oprah says, “they tell me then I tell you, that’s how it is, that’s how it works” she corrects him. Dr Phil shrugs his shoulders, Oprah wants to roll her eyes.

Dr Phil speaks, “well, Oprah, what in the world can I do then” Dr Phil says and was not asking Oprah a question, Oprah shakes her head but for reasons different than not having an answer, Dr Phil proceeds, “the biggest flaw in any life is when we demand–” Dr Phil says and then pauses with noted emphasis, “that others in life must appreciate us” Dr Phil says ending with greater emphasis, Oprah is rendered visibly void of emotion from Dr Phil’s comment, she stares blankly at his face, Dr Phil twitches his nose and scratches the edges of his mustache using his index finger and thumb, the sight of it causes Oprah’s eyes to physically boggle.

“You’d be in the wrong business if only you weren’t” Oprah says to Dr Phil, it was not in her likeness to say it, but she could not help herself. “What in the world do you mean by that” Dr Phil asks, he has no idea what she has meant, he knows only it meant nothing good.

“You can sometimes be too nosey with people for day-time television” Oprah says not answering his question. Doctor Phil shrugs his shoulders, “but, but I’m Dr Phil” Dr Phil says poignantly. Oprah wants badly to roll her eyes at this. She doesn’t.

“I’d like for you to act more Dr McGraw and less Mr Springer” Oprah says to Dr Phil. Dr Phil reacts exaggeratedly stunned, “Jerry Springer are you kidding me, Oprah” Dr Phil says. Oprah shakes her head no, “you may not be Jerry Springer and you might always be Dr McGraw, but on television you are Dr Phil” Oprah says to Dr Phil, “So for Christ sake make sure you always do be him and no one else” Oprah says to Dr Phil and stands up from her chair.

Dr Phil speaks, “Oprah, I am indebted to you” Dr Phil says to Oprah as she walks away. The words have made her cringe.

— To be continued —

1377107867-drphil420-420x0

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s