She Hates His Teeth

Martha Stewart is crafting it up at the workbench — She is surrounded by popsicle sticks — Thousands and thousands of popsicle sticks are spread all about her — She is with Meyer — he, too, is at the workbench — They’ve been crafting things out of popsicle sticks all day.aa01059

Meyer makes a comment through way of a question — he speaks, he says, “Nothing like the smell of Elmers on pine, am I right, Martha” he tells her. Martha Stewart answers, but so only to correct him — she speaks, she says, “It’s actually birch, Meyer, white birch, actually, to be exact, but yes, the room certainly does smell wonderful” she tells him.

Meyer is a bit struck by that comment — He is evaluating her correction — not the birch wood part, though, that part he is fine with — but the wonderful smell part, that’s the part he has issue with — He finds the duo of Elmers and wood to smell not really all so wonderful — But he seems, though, to be just too busy to comment on her own comment — He looks at his project — He is building a pencil canister — It’s not as impressive, as say, Martha Stewart’s birdhouse, for example — that she is making, and right next to him, and at this very moment — but his canister, though, is starting to look not really all so bad, either.

Martha Stewart throws her eyes on it — she is curious to see it — Her face cracks a grin — She dings an idea from it — That Martha Stewart, the rascal that she is — She speaks, she says, “Nice pencil canister” she tells him — she says that jabbing-ly — all like buddy-buddy-like — Meyer groans — he speaks, he says, “Martha, that was a cheap shot” he tells her — He says that with a bended hand — He slaps the air with that — the action to that is entirely of the wrist — He does that for mere effect — Martha Stewart wobbles her head with enjoyment — she speaks, she says, “It’s not bad, Meyer, I was just teasing you, your canister is looking fantastic” she tells him — Meyer looks looks up from his project, he turns his head toward Martha Stewart, he gives her his most genuine smile — he speaks, he says, “Thanks, Martha, you would know” he tells her — He says that like it was reasoned — Martha Stewart responds with a smile, but she keeps her eyes, though, glued to her project.

Meyer steps on a popsicle stick — it sounds out a crack — The things are just falling to the floor — every-so-often just incidentally those get swiped off the workbench — Meyer and Martha Stewart have been stepping on those all day — Only but sometimes does it sound as a noise when they do that — that’s a matter of angles is what that is — Also, sometimes, if those popsicle sticks has glues on them, those may then stick to the soles of shoes — It’s just very messy altogether around the workbench — Shavings of birchwood, random cuttings, dust, splinters, strips, various shims, other things, too — such as sanded-out sandpaper, scrap paper, broken ends of pencil lead — litters from crafting is what that is — litters from crafting with popsicle sticks, specifically — That causes for much litter — That litter is everywhere.

Martha Stewart is rubbing her hands — it is like she’s in a cartoon, like she’s twisting a stick, starting a fire — But really, though, in actuality, she’s cleaning her hands of dried glues — As she rubs them together, the friction eats the residual — The faster she rubs them, the better it eats it — It lifts it, twists it, shreds it into pieces — It’s highly effective — But only so for weaker glues, that is, such as Elmers, which is what they are using — Meyer notices Martha Stewart as she does that — He then looks at his own hands — he then copies her — He does it, too.

Meyer looks at Martha Stewart — he speaks, he says, “I just can’t get over how well you do your edges, Martha” he tells her — Martha Stewart looks away from her birdhouse, she turns her head toward Meyer — She asks him: “Oh, problems with edges, what do you mean exactly?” — Meyer tilts back his chin — he stares at the ceiling — he lets out a weak sigh — he drops his eyes back downward — he stops them at eye-level — He speaks, he says, “I don’t know, Martha, I just never seem to cut them right” he tells her — He was somewhat embarrassed to say that — Martha Stewart’s eyes then sharpen — she is concerned for his issue — She leans in closer toward him — She asks him: “What do you cut your popsicle sticks with?” — Meyer is reticent to answer that — but he does — he speaks, he says, Uh-well, I just use pliers” he tells her — He says that with meager confidence — he speaks that like he was asking her a question.

Martha Stewart is relieved to hear it, though — she speaks, she says, “Ah, silly, use your micro-saw” she tells him — She was more than emphatic — Meyer’s eyes lit up — much like they would were it he who knew better — He speaks, he says, “Ah, that’s right, of course, of course” he says quickly, “so obvious” he tells her — Martha Stewart wobbles her head with enjoyment, she resumes her bird house — She’s painting shutters on its windows — It’s a pretty fancy birdhouse she is building.

She looks away from the tiny shutters she is painting  — she turns her head toward Meyer — she places her paintbrush on the workbench — she speaks, she says, “I think you have a real talent for this, Meyer” she tells him — Meyer is overcome — but he does, though, manage to find his words fairly easily — he speaks, he says, “Thank you” he tells her — He says that pounding-ly — Martha Stewart answers that with a nod — She, too, responds pounding-ly — One solid nod is what she gives him — she gives that nod pounding-ly — She is very receptive to the praise that he’s implied of her — She speaks, she says, “I really love your color schemes” she says, “you always display excellent taste in your color schemes” she tells him.

Meyer seems now as if that he’s distraught — that much is showable on his eyes — He speaks, he says, “Oh, Martha, no, you’re too much” he tells her — He budges away from her a little bit — he adds distance to the space between them — Martha Stewart notices that — she then moves in closer toward him — she subtracts the space that he has added — She speaks, she says, “Meyer, I’m serious, your color schemes are very good” she tells him — Meyer is not convinced — he has noticed her movements — He has noticed all movements between them for that matter — He has seen her movements as they happened, and he is aware also, as well, that he has made movements of his own.

He speaks, he says, “Thanks but no thanks, Martha, and I don’t mean that to be rude” he tells her — He was being sincere — at least, in the sense that he did not wish to be rude, that is, he was being sincere — Martha Stewart shrugs that with a fast shoulder — she speaks, she says, “Whatever, Meyer” she tells him — She trails that into a mumble — Meyer looks up from his canister — he then fastly asks her: “Come again?” — She does not honor that question — she speaks, she says, “Nothing, Meyer” she tells him — But Meyer knows, though, that she has said something, that it was mumbled, and that it was said under her breath (both literally and figuratively) — But he shrugs it off — he speaks, he says, “I love your siding, Martha” he tells her — He says that speaking on her bird house — Martha Stewart is cutting a popsicle stick, she cuts it through way of a needlessly great force — She drops her blade on the workbench — she turns her head toward Meyer — she speaks, she says, “Thank you” she tells him — She says that pounding-ly — Punding-ly but, also sarcastic, as well — Meyer picks up on that with no moment’s time — He reacts — he speaks, he says, “It’s actually not all that great, Martha, I was just teasing you” he tells her — Martha Stewart lowers her jaw– she displays for Meyer her own felt feelings of stun and shock — Meyer thinks he has gone too far — He thinks he should apologize to Martha Stewart — He then thinks, instead, that he should smooth it over with a relevant joke — But Martha Stewart, though, beats him to words — she speaks, she says, “When I said your color schemes are fantastic, I was telling you the truth” she tells him — Meyer looks away toward his side — he smirks at those words — He does not roll his eyes at them, though — at least, he does not roll them around, that is — he instead attempts to roll them straight to the back of his head — Martha Stewart catches him do that.

She speaks, she says, “I’m not sure I quite get you, Meyer,” she says, “all that I said to you was you have great taste in color schemes” she tells him — Meyer turns his head away — again — he looks away toward his side, he keeps his viewings there — He does not roll his eyes — Martha Stewart is watching for that carefully.

Meyer then speaks — he speaks, he says, “It is a big deal, Martha,” he says, “trust me, when coming from you, it is sort of a big deal” he tells her — He says that begrudgedly — Martha Stewart was hoping that an explanation from Meyer would be in that likeness — She blushes, she bites her own cheek — she then speaks — She speaks, she says, “I would not lie to you, Meyer” she tells him — She says that like she was hoping to remind him — She knows that Meyer is very skilled with popsicle sticks.

Meyer changes his viewings to the workbench — he looks down toward his canister — he grabs it off the workbench — he picks it up and rocks it — he cradles it rocking his wrist — Martha Stewart speaks to him as he does that — She then tilts in closer toward him — She is now barely just next to him — She then speaks softly to him — She speaks, she says, “Look at your canister, Meyer, look at its color scheme” she says, “the yellows and the blacks, it is so very nice” she tells him — Meyer’s eyebrows have lifted, his ears have spiked upward (literally–Meyer can move his ears) — Martha Stewart continues — she speaks, she says, “What I said earlier, Meyer, about your color schemes, I was being oh so honest” she tells him.

Meyer is not unconvinced — not even close to that, is he convinced — To Meyer’s own perception, Martha Stewart is hitting his nerves, she is bothering him — He thinks to himself — he thinks, he says, “All those blacks and yellows” his mind tells him — those words repeat over and over to Meyer, to himself, inside his own mind — He scoffs at those words — He thinks Martha Stewart is trying to belittle him.

Meyer is very self-conscious about his color schemes — Generally speaking, he truly does have great taste in color schemes — Meyer refuses to let Martha Stewart do that to him — to belittle him, that is — to do that, as how he perceives that, that is.

Meyer turns away from her — he then turns back toward her — he has now re-faced her — He speaks, he says, “Just because you’re famous for it, Martha Stewart, it does not necessarily mean you are better at it than I am, or better even than anyone else for that matter” he tells her — He says that pounding-ly.

Martha Stewart springs away from him — Her posture returns straight back and proper — She is profoundly put off from his statement — She shakes her head twice at him — she shakes it twice more — She loses her words for him, she finds new ones — she speaks, she says, “You have a real problem, Meyer” she tells him — She darts a finger at his face — He renders that with no compunction, he resumes his own train of emotion — He throws his thumb at his chest — he speaks, he says “I keeps it real, Martha,” he says, “you’re a phoney, you’re a fake” he tells her — Martha Stewart throws her own hands in the air — She has nothing but anger for Meyer in that moment — She speaks, she asks him: “Where has this come from?” — She demands he answer — she demands that poundingly.

Meyer answers — and does so choosingly fast — he speaks, he says, “No offence, Martha, but you’re kind of a talking head, you kind of have no soul” he tells her — Martha Stewart’s mood is in rapid flux — she is insulted, she feels betrayed by Meyer — she is angry, she is defensive, she is ready to be spiteful — It is her own indignation she feels — She tells Meyer to go fuck himself — She tells him to go home — Meyer nods — he nods as if to tell her that he will do so gladly — But then he continues his tirade, all the same — He speaks, he says, “There is no real meaning behind anything you do” he says, “it’s popsicle sticks today, Thanksgiving dinners tomorrow, yesterday you carved pumpkins, next week is gingerbread mansions,” he says, “find your own thing, Martha, and stick with it,” he says, “stop stealing everything from everyone, half-assed, and just because you can, Martha Stewart” he tells her — He says that slamming her — He exclaims every word — He does not say that pounding-ly.

Martha Stewart is disgusted — Her mood is no longer in flux — that has settled — it has now set as one of spite — That much is well hinted on her face — Meyer sees that — He adds that to his arsenal — through way of a subconscious reaction — he then takes it out in action — he throws his fist on the workbench — he slams that like a gavel — he smashes onto popsicle sticks — that cuts the side of his hand from a sharpened shim of birchwood — that bleeds him — that streams thin toward his arm like a rolling red ribbon — he sees that, he shouts: “Make up your fucking mind, Martha!”

Martha Stewart is boiling up badly — her face is flushed with red from sheer anger — She is willingly ready to unleash it — she opens up, she lets out, she shouts: “Color schemes is the only thing you’ve ever excelled at with popsicle sticks!”

Meyer winced.

He had feared that that was coming — He has felt that one — That one was sharp — Sharper than the shim was — A good one for Martha Stewart, and a bad one for Meyer — It’d stabbed right into him — He cannot believe that — But he can, actually, and he does — he believes it — Wincing is believing as they say — But he is almost astounded by it, though, and so because he did not think Martha stewart had it in her — so he almost is astounded — his jaw would have dropped if only he’d not let it — and to that’s regard, he is boggled, not astounded — Meyer would much rather drop his own jaw than wince.

Meyer looks at his wound — he sees he is still bleeding — He picks up scrap paper from the workbench — he starts folding from that a long and thin rectangle — He is making a makeshift bandage for his wound — He asks Martha Stewart for masking tape — to secure his makeshift bandage with — She finds a roll of one for him.

She stays on the attack, too, though — She saw that Meyer had winced, and she enjoyed to see that he did — She keeps herself in that element — she advances with it — Meyer knows that she’s coming now for more winces — This is not his first time ever in a battle of winces — He’s been here before, he knows the motions — He almost can feel the targets she has set on him — Martha Stewart speaks — she speaks, she says, “I am Martha Stewart” she tells him — She says that as if the reminder was needed — She speaks again — she speaks, she says, “Your edges are terrible” she tells him — again, she says that, too, as if the reminder was needed.

She is chipping at him — Meyer feels those — They don’t make him wince, but he feels them — He’s being chipped at — Martha Stewart is hoping they’ll make him wince — she does not care to chip at him — these chips are merely but incidental — She tries again, to make him wince, but merely she chips at him once more — she speaks, she says “Your canister is the only thing you’ve ever made with popsicle sticks that’s looked anything even any bit good” she tells him — Meyer is now minus three chips of his own self — But these are only just chips that he has suffered — Meyer is very strangely resilient to chipping — Three chips is virtually nothing to Meyer — He hardly even feels them.chisel_01

Meyer speaks — Martha Stewart speaks also — They both manage to speak — Martha Stewart’s words, though, prove more significant — She asks him: “how important is a color scheme in popsicle sticks, anyway?”

Meyer winced.

She had winced him at color schemes — that’s the same subject she had used to trigger the first wince — The angle, though, that she has shot with in this wincer was even better than the first — Were the order of these two wincers reversed, Meyer could have winced-out right then and there — In that sense he is very lucky.

Meyer does not answer her question — Meyer had winced — and he really hates wincing — all that he cares about is that he had winced — that is why he does not answer her — Martha Stewart knows that, and she can see that, as well — Meyer could not hide his wince, he must show it — It truly is impossible to hide a wince — unless, that is, you happen to be unwince-able then maybe, but virtually no one ever is unwince-able — If one winces, one must show it — it is not an option — it is a very critical part of it’s own definition, actually, that when one winces one shows it.

Neither Meyer nor Martha Stewart is unwince-able — But Martha Stewart, though, is doing a finer job at figuring out what makes the other wince — She has made him wince twice already — As of yet, she herself has not winced even once — She’s been insulted by Meyer, yes, and she is very angry at him because of it, as well, but Meyer has not made her wince — The score on winces is 2-0 in favor of Martha Stewart — that is not a good sign for Meyer.

Meyer is at a true disadvantage — He is greatly fatigued from his two recent winces — They affect him mentally — Worse yet, is that Martha Stewart, desires more winces out of him — She is just too riled up from his insults — and now too pleased by the sight of him wincing — to stop herself with anything short of three winces in Meyer

She is way passed with chipping — She is in a different territory — chipping means nothing here — She wants only home runs, she wants winces.

Meyer reasonably may only hope that one potential advantage will fall in his favor — that of which being, of course, the most common pitfall feared by all over-ambitious provokers of his winces — Under the circumstances as they are, it would require that Martha Stewart be temporarily blinded — in moments — moments as in, times in which she expects Meyer to wince — In those certain moments, if she is then so blinded — and if Meyer is then to not wince — it may then at least be possible things could slip past without her notice — and should they do that — a cumulative effect, over time, would occur, and would be insidious — the product of that buildup would simply be too much for Martha Stewart to handle — the power of that super wince, would quite very simply overcome her — that would beat her — that would make her wince-out — she would then thus out wince herself.

Martha Stewart is, as of course, thirsting for more Meyer winces — If Meyer is lucky, she will be too focussed on that for her own good — that is, though, only if Meyer is lucky — But, there may be good reason for Meyer think that he could be — Martha Stewart has been drained of all her anger — Her indignation is no longer more — She is merely just provoking him and for her own malicious desires — Most would have stopped by now with already two winces pulled out from him — But then again, though, not exactly everyone would care so much to make Meyer wince anyway — At least, not since David brooks they don’t — David Brooks learned that the hard way — Meyer pulled him through an epic of three battles all on winces — that was of one that was dashes and dashi-dashes — that was a duel that could stop the world from turning — But that war, though, was a bit of a different story.

Martha Stewart speaks — she speaks, she says “I hate your teeth” she tells him — She says that with a grin — Meyer is not sure what to do with that — He thinks, but his thinking thinks him out nothing — He feels virtually nothing from Martha Stewart’s comment on his teeth — he is only confused by it — Meyer thinks there must be more to it.

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Martha Stewart proceeds — she speaks, she says, “We had a such a great time earlier, why’d you have to do this” she tells him — She says that coyly — Meyer wants only to just roll his eyes at that — but he won’t dare — the subject is just too close to the very one that had made him wince — He fears his own winces too much to act in ways exactly that bravely — He is cautious of this and so he acts as it — Martha Stewart continues — she speaks, she says, “And now, now we can’t even craft anymore, it would just be too awkward” she tells him — She says that pound-ish-ly

Meyer thinks to just bite on that hook, that she has set for him — and to bite that regardless of any outcome — And so he does, he bites it — he speaks, he says, “That’s ridiculous, Martha, I’m fine with us crafting again, some time in the future” he says, “I had an excellent time today” he tells her — He was sort of lying, though — Martha Stewart does not like his answer, because it does not meet anywhere in the likeness of her own expectations — She truly wants only to make him wince.

Martha Stewart has been chipped.

Meyer has chipped her without even trying — he does not even realize that.

Meyer speaks — he speaks, he says, “Martha, I see that you are fresh out of Hydes and have nothing but Jekylls” he tells her — He says that in his own error — he has mixed them up — he had meant them reversed.

Martha Stewart rolls her eyes at that — She is searching for her words — Correcting him, she knows, would not make him wince — She manages to find some four words — words that she hopes might make better towards her goal — she speaks, she says, “I hate your teeth” she tells him — Same words once again — Her eyes are now squinting — her cheeks are throbbing — She is impatient for Meyer to answer — and he seems that he does not care to give one — Martha Stewart is now quickly realizing, that the whole teeth thing might not be all so effective on Meyer.

But she keeps with it, though — she hopes that through enough repetitions, Meyer will then come to see his teeth only as something bad — for at least in those moments, that is — and that he then will only come to expect it from her — at least in those moments, that is — so that then she will be able to wince him — that is her plan — and that’s a pretty brilliant plan, actually — and also kind of twisted plan to boot — Martha Stewart speaks — she speaks, she says, “I hate your teeth” she tells him — That time she yells it.

Meyer does not wince — he remains silent.

Meyer thinks he has great teeth — even though he doesn’t — Meyer’s teeth are pretty bad, actually — which is partly the reason that Martha Stewart has targeted them — But little did she know, though, that Meyer would be so oblivious to such things — He just believes that he has great teeth regardless of what anyone could ever tell him — Meyer is thinking — He is thinking that he should speak — so as to not be uncouth, because it has been a while since he has last spoke — And so he does — or so he tries — he opens his mouth to speak — Martha Stewart, though, won’t let him speak — she speaks over him, she had talked quicker than he — She speaks, she says, “I hate your teeth” she tells him — Again — She shouts that, though, and right at his face — But once again, Meyer does not react or act to it.

Martha Stewart steps in closer toward him — she is now only just inches away from his face — Meyer is dumbfounded — He has no idea what her angle is — He is not sure whether she is going kiss him or headbutt him — Really, that is what he is wondering — Meyer thinks to himself — he thinks, he says “Either should be more likely than her supposed hatred of my teeth” his mind tells himself — Martha Stewart opens her mouth — she is still right up at his face — Meyer thinks — and from that he rules out headbutt — She speaks, she says, “I hate your teeth” she tells him — Meyer is astonished — she had not done as he expected — He just stands there — still right in front of her — His mouth is wide open — his jaw has dropped — He stares at Martha Stewart with wonder — Martha Stewart shakes her head rapidly — It is a violent thing to see — She is thrashing her own head in all sorts of directions — She speaks, she says, “I hate your teeth, close your goddamn mouth” she tells him — She demands that he do it.

Meyer does but, he doesn’t — He snarls.

He has had enough of Martha Stewart and her demands — and he’s had enough, as well, of Martha Stewart’s incessant jealousy of his teeth — (incessant jealousy, that is, at least so he thinks) — But little did Meyer know, though — and really, it was quite little the amount relevant that he knew — He had no means to ever expect that Martha Stewart would respond to his snarl as how she does.

Martha Stewart is thrashing her head — She is throwing her arms in the air — She is horrified of his snarl — Meyer is now finally beginning to think, that maybe, just maybe, it was at least maybe just possible, that Martha Stewart could somehow actually hate his teeth — Martha Stewart has turned completely away from him — Meyer sees that — She is cowering — Meyer capitalizes on that — he makes an opportunity of that — he opens his mouth — he stands like that, he waits for her — Martha Stewart returns her face to his — she looks at him — she sees his teeth.

She shrieks.

Martha Stewart slaps both of her hands onto her face — she is covering her eyes, to hide them from Meyer’s teeth — Meyer is now almost positive that Martha Stewart must hate his teeth — He is finally just realizing that for the very first time — Meyer thinks to himself — he thinks, he says “Wow, she must have like, some kind of body aversion, or something ” his mind tells himself.

He opens his mouth wider — he now has it full wide open — he stands like that, he waits for her — Martha Stewart peaks through a gap from between her fingers — she sees Meyer’s teeth — she shrieks.

Martha Stewart has winced.

Martha Stewart is now pinned underneath the full weight of a never-ending wince — The Gods might be crazy, and if they are, it is because they have once again invested the full sum of their powers to help Meyer — again — pull through another unthinkable battle of winces — and as the victor, as well, once again — it was like David Brooks all over again — Meyer is now out-wincing Martha Stewart by uncountable figures — His own two winces against him have rendered pretty much meaningless — He is completely refreshed, he is rejuvenated.

Martha Stewart again tries in vain, to handle the mere sight of Meyer’s teeth — She drops her hands from her eyes — she places them down at her sides — She take in a deep breath, she exhales it, she opens her eyes — she looks straight at Meyer.

Meyer has opened his mouth as wide as he can — he is tossing his head in all directions — he is showing Martha Stewart all of his teeth — Martha Stewart screams out shrieking — She shrieks out shriek after shriek after shriek — She is like a banshee — Martha Stewart was wincing badly just before that — but now she is winced beyond her endurance — She curls her own neck inward, she tilts her head downward — she is attempting to hide herself — into her own very self — to hide away from Meyer’s teeth — Somehow, though, she manages to do that — her eyes can see nothing but only the fabrics of her own clothing — Martha Stewart will not dare, though, look at Meyer.

Meyer speaks — he speaks, he says, “Yeah, bet you like those teeth, don’t you, Martha” he tells her — He says that like he were pelting his words at her — Martha Stewart grumbles in agony — she speaks, she says, “No, no I don’t, I do not like your teeth” she tells him — She says that painfully — She keeps her face tilted away from his — she wants to protect her own viewings from landmarks that are visible from behind his very own — She cannot bear his teeth — She dares, though, to utter of that once more — she speaks, she says, “Meyer, I really, really do hate your teeth” she tells him — She says that as if she were begging him to put them away — Meyer is somewhat virtuous, he puts them away — He speaks, he says, “That’s what I thought, Martha” he tells her — He says that pounding-ly.

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