Found Cold

I knew when I opened the door my skin had grown thin
They’d forewarned it would happen some time before I
      still remember nodding
Warm air from my apartment jetted by a vacuum and crashed
      into nothing             I felt it’s resisting
I closed the door behind me and walked around the porch
      pressing my hand against the concrete wall
For just in that moment I had thought I found my breath
      and facetiously I laughed
A jogger passed by below me dressed up like a scuba diver
      and made think but I was already walking
I looked up at the palm trees shrilling whistles from the wind
      and looked around for sleeping squirrels, crunching on
      the dinner scraps they litter down on the sidewalks
I crossed my arms in my thin white t-shirt and checked again
      for my breath once more              and pulled out
      fire to breathe in, to pacify my brisking lungs
I got into the neighborhoods and began to think about dogs
      The paranoia made me so much colder
      I went to the lake but would not sit              I left
Walking the main roads illuminated by orange lanterns and
      yellow plastic billboards, every car I turned
      for, every dry scubadiver passing me by
When I got back to my street I saw two like me a boy and
      a girl              no scuba gear, both breathing fire
The last thing I remember was my shadow when it found me

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