You see right through me;
I walk right through you.
I shut you off.
You’re not worth it.
Hence my aloofness —
I don’t wish to be confrontational —
but here is a sample of what I’d think
if only I cared
about the same formalities as you:
To preserve my peace of mind,
maintain my homeostasis of the heart,
in it everything has a place
for every tenant pays its rent;
and you’re the kind of soul who wants to
redecorate and do self repairs when
you suck at them and make things worse.
Like a runoff sentence you don’t know when
Why it would be so terrible for me to start caring —
to reorganize you —
and in turn myself;
to test my tracks and see you crash —
to lift the dust of years that passed —
to test free will and watch you laugh —
the wreckage would be an eternal flame
for you know you could not put me out.
How could I do that to myself?
When I work so hard to keep things simmer.
I shut you off before you boil
with an emergency monkey wrench,
my handy dandy peripheral penchant.
I write poetry for God’s sake —
you really think I do it for the money?
I dropped out of law school to become
an artist, yes, some people know what they
want in life.
You think I am lazy and you think
that’s the reason why I toil
in the all-absorbing rat race that so often is life.
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. No more words for you,
materialistic, basic, timid, truly sackless,
time blind person drawn through life
Don’t save: me: artist about his craft;
don’t save: me: misunderstood.
Don’t save me at all.
Spare me in fact.
Spare me of it all.
Good bye and good luck —
you won’t need it.
Go hump your fallback plan.
I hear it’s a safe racket.