Certain vocations have larger-than-life ceilings.
Ceilings so high they cast a shadow
on most by far who reach beneath them.
Though I’ll never stop climbing
my own ascension
such is the case of my vocation
wherein I put a lot of pressure on myself
going through life as a shadow person
whether I wish to be or not;
prominence is my lifeforce
and lack thereof is my definitive bane.
Where would I be without my saving grace:
until someone I know slays their shadow
and becomes a famous name
each and every one I know is inconsequent.
What difference would it make were it otherwise?
I’m unsure but does it make me weak
that I prefer it this way?
Side by side and not above:
my peers and I.
Life as a shadow person can be quite painful.
Who would you rather be, John Coltrane or Kenny G?
The answer is John Coltrane.
Who’s better, Taylor swift or Face to Face.
The answer is Face to Face but unfortunately
the world mightily disagrees.
The glaring reality though that, you’re not what it is —
is not what it is;
most shadow people say fuck it and spit on the ground,
go Popeye and say they are what they are
but not me —
I believe in myself.
Not all so young but full of hope —
It’s like a Cheers episode and I can’t escape —
I’m Sam Malone —
outside of my pow wow
nobody knows my name.
Not to mention I make no money
and must work menial jobs on top of it all.
Not to mention some people do better than me.
Still, though, I believe in myself.
Some peeps I know are also shadow people
and so their small ass moves impress me
because my moves in kind are pretty modest and
to believe in oneself one should believe in others.
Between shadow people,
I think we’re gonna all do fine.
How fine exactly?
Life is a long time.
Something I see most do not understand.
Also, you live more than once —
not that that’s relevant.
But today is not tomorrow;
tomorrow does not change today.
Flashes compound into a flame —
patience is what that is.
Perseverance as well
and maybe some evolution.
But in terms of conquering the shadows —
in terms of becoming the next big thing —
I leave it to the hands of time.
I honestly do not discount anything
and no matter how bleak a present may seem —
as Bukowski serves to remind us —
Not that I need any of that life bonus hoowah —
to be a real big shot that everyone knows —
but it must be damn nice I bet.
I would take it.
All of it.
And the money.
The good, the bad and the ugly.
Who am I kidding?
I would take it all day!